My husband gambling and domestic violence, I decided to divorce, he suddenly turned back. | & nbsp; likes to ask the married family

Love Nong

01

letter from readers

Q:

my husband is down-to-earth, honest and unfaithful, and has been trying to live a good life. But he has a bad habit, that is, he often goes out to gamble, and he has a bad temper and beats and scolds me from time to time, which makes me very painful.

Our western wedding dresses will make you feel at the top of fashion. Find your favorite and it will remain fashionable and fabulous for the years to come.

when my husband gambled and didn't go home, I had a relationship with a netizen. I loved him very much, and he loved me very much. He has a family, but the relationship between husband and wife is not harmonious. We have met in private and we all hope to get together. However, when I decided to divorce, my husband began to reflect. He had changed a lot. He seldom went out to gamble and stopped beating me. Sometimes it hurts when I look at my husband having a good time with his 6-year-old child. I don't have the heart to hurt him and the child. But my netizens and I love each other very much, and he has been waiting for me. I don't know what to do?

A:

Life often seems to be like this. If you get satisfaction on the one hand, you will lose on the other, and you can't be perfect.

in fact, this is also the universal law of things in the world, with both positive and negative.

when you go to the extreme, things change. For example, you don't start looking for a new change until you've reached the end of your patience, and your affair makes your husband suddenly realize that he needs to change.

Marriage generally starts with love, but why do many marriages tend to be loveless or loveless?

, but one reason that can't be ignored is:

neither of husband and wife does anything for the relationship anymore.

they are tired, tired and used to it, but at the same time they all yearn for the feeling of love, but many people do not know how to actively look for it between themselves and each other, but just wait for each other to change, or go outside to look for change.

people who have been married for many years probably have a feeling that they seldom even take the initiative to touch each other's ideas.

I remember that a counselor once advocated a method of communication between husband and wife, that is, washing each other's feet. This method may sound ridiculous at first, but in fact it is precisely the most simple way to make the other person feel loved.

We, who are not good at expressing and are not used to expressing emotional needs, often use expressions that stimulate or even hurt each other, which often makes things start to go in the opposite direction.

for those who have such behavior,

for example, your husband needs to understand his needs and feelings and express them in an appropriate way.

for the recipient,

for example, you need to understand the other person's needs, understand the other person's way of expression, and take the initiative to do something to change the status quo, rather than just treating yourself as a victim.

if we go back to the development of the relationship, we can see that if one of the couple took the initiative to make a change at a certain stage, even a little change, things probably wouldn't be where they are today.

unless the couple really have no love for each other.

after doubting their choices, some people start new choices, while others break down when they don't have a chance to make new choices.

in fact, this is a lazy, evasive, shirking way to deal with life, because it is easier than facing problems.

there is nothing more difficult than constantly facing yourself, changing yourself, and taking responsibility, because it is a task that can never be done, a task that can never be accomplished.

you and your netizens may really love each other, or even fall in love as you and your husband did when they first fell in love, because you are still giving for love.

but maybe one day, you and your netizens will get bored, tired and used to it, and you will get back on track.

so, for you, there is nothing wrong with "looking for" and "leaving", but "not understanding" will make you repeat it over and over again.

so, what you need to understand now is,

if

A new start is a fundamental solution to the problem, so it is promising, otherwise, please consider it carefully.

emotion expert in this issue: love Nong (psychological counselor)

second instance: Li Jin

third instance: Zhao Haixu

I want to consult

every day, the wedding family backstage will receive a lot of friends sent in the marriage emotion, family life encountered all kinds of confusion. The psychologists of the marriage family are also using their own professional knowledge to answer questions for everyone. However, psychological troubles are often not completely solved in a few words. In order to help you better, Marriage and Family Magazine offers the following three kinds of counseling:

method 1: free consultation

the marriage family will choose some representative questions and invite professional consultants to answer them. Letters are made public by default (anonymously).

method 2: pay for consultation

Psychological counseling is for counselors to help visitors and solve their psychological problems very seriously.The process of the problem. The payment of psychological counselors is a kind of special work with high professional technology, which requires a lot of time, energy and brainpower. Fee-based counseling is the embodiment of visitors' respect for themselves and the work of counselors.

after collecting consulting fee, it means the establishment of consulting relationship, at the same time, it also gives the consultant responsibility and obligation, so that the effect of consultation can be guaranteed.

emotional counseling

legal advice

Mode 3: system course

Marriage and Family Happiness study Society, the first university-style family growth learning community.

there are not only online learning groups but also offline training camps. At that time, well-known celebrities in the field of family education will do exclusive online lecture sharing, outreach training, positive guidance, book reading, and so on, to help everyone practice and make progress together.